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Marriage vs marijuana aroma? Ngaio Bealum advises

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American comedian, musician, writer, actor, activist, juggler, and publisher Ngaio Bealum solves Leafly reader problems in an occasional advice column we call ‘Ask Ngaio.’ This time—weed so loud it interrupts domestic harmony.


Ngaio,

So… My state just legalized cannabis and I may have gone a little overboard at my first visit to a cannabis dispensary. Seriously. I bought a lot of weed. Does weed go bad? What’s the best way keep it fresher longer?

—Manny Baggs

Ngaio,

I love cannabis. My wife does not. She doesn’t even like the smell. Yeah, it’s weird, but I still love her. The thing is, she is constantly complaining about the aromas emanating from my stash box. What can I do?

—O. D’Iferous

It’s simple—respect the plant. The 7Acres Re:Stash Jar (Courtesy Re:Stash)

Whether or not you two know it, you’re both essentially asking me the same thing… “What can I do with all this goddamn loud that’s now in my house waiting to be smoked?”

One man’s fire tree is another man’s foot stank. It’s like stinky cheese.

Weed is stinky and getting stinkier. While you may enjoy the strong terpy aromas of a good OG or a fresh batch of Cat Piss, others may not share your view.

Here we go:

Weed is like a vampire: Not because it will give you a thirst for human blood, but because light will kill it. Metaphorically. Heat, light and oxygen ruin good cannabis. Heat aerosolizes the terpenes, which a fancy way of saying “it makes your house smell like weed.” UV light and oxygen turn the THC into CBN, which will still get you high, but it will most likely make you really sleepy. Terpenes also give cannabis its distinctive flavors and aromas, so you want to keep them on the flower right until you inhale them into your lungs.

Storage 101

How to store edibles for optimal safety and freshness

The best way is to keep your stash in a cool dark space, always in an airtight jar or high-quality plastic bag. Even better, use both combined.

First off, toss out all those janky plastic pill bottles. Rusty glass jar tops? Trash ‘em.

Smellyproof and Grove Bags make sturdy, airtight bags in all sizes.

And Canlok makes these great jars that have a little pump (like old school Reeboks) to suck all the air out of the container. If you don’t have either, don’t go running to your backyard to bury it to keep peace in the house. You can always use a Ball glass jar that has a tight seal.

If you’re looking to go pro-level customize and child-proof your mason jars with Re:Stash sleeves and tops. I use Canlok jars when I want to save a particular flavor for special occasions. I have some Purple Candy Cane from last year (or maybe 2019 – maybe 500 years ago, time is weird like that) in a jar in a desk drawer and it is still delicious and invigorating.

Keep in mind—pipe resin, already vaped bud, and bong water stinks; ash trays, too. So seal the AVB, trash the ash, clean your glass, and change the bong water. Take pride in your hobby, man.

And if you wanna be extra fancy, get a mini-fridge and use it as a weed-cellar. You can keep cannabis for months or even years if you store it correctly. Hope I helped you save your weed, and almost as important, your marriage.

Drop your favorite odor control tips in the comments below.

Ngaio Bealum's Bio Image

Ngaio Bealum

Ngaio Bealum is an American comedian, musician, writer, actor, activist, juggler and publisher. He hosted the Netflix show Cooking on High, and hosts the trivia app Daily Bonfire. He writes columns in the Sacramento News & Review, and Cannabis Now, answering questions from readers about marijuana and the politics of legalization.

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